Tuesday, February 10, 2009

races I might medal in

I was always unusually fast at pounding a beer. In my college days there were few faster, large or small. I practiced my freshman year in the cafeteria. I would pound 8 ounce glasses of milk with my dorm-mates and rarely would I lose. I quit the milk circuit after my friend Kevin surreptitiously spiked my milk with about a half cup of salt before the race, leaving me gagging and in second place. But I bumped around the beer pounding minor leagues for a couple more years before hanging it up for good.

The reason I'm thinking about this is that now that I'm back running on the track, I might have a chance to run a respectable "beer mile". The point of the beer mile is as follows:
1) Drink a beer
2) run a lap
3) repeat 3 more times

Now this race is not for big slow beer drinkers. Honestly it probably favors running athletes (ultimate, soccer) more than ascetic distance runners. The local winner last year went a 6:42, obviously no slouch.

If your specialty isn't drinking, maybe you can find a local doughnut run. Basically, this is a 5K with donut stops. The first donut you eat takes 15 seconds from your overall time, the second takes 30, and for each successive donut the time bonus increases 15 seconds. So if you eat, say, 5 donuts, 3:45 comes off your finishing time. Think you could break 15 minutes?

Suffice to say I won't start training seriously for either event before I finish Napa, but we all have dreams.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting lessons learned in this international even:

    The beer cannot be too cold nor too warm.
    Fast drinkers have an advantage over fast runners.
    Get the beer with the least carbonation.
    Alcohol has no effect during the race; even a soft drink would yield the same results… you finish the race before the alcohol even hits you.
    The 48 ounces of carbonated fluid on your stomach is the main issue.
    Don’t save anything on the running portion; treat it like hard intervals… on a full stomach.
    Brand of beer doesn’t matter, buy cheap because you don’t taste it anyway.